What is your BDSM kink? We all have at least one; some people might not like to admit it but trust me. You have a BDSM kink, whether it just be a dominant or submissive role or something a little kinkier. Everyone has a kink of some sort.
The BDSM realm is so broad and accepting of kinks that everyone is welcome. They are assisted in determining what type of kinky elements they enjoy and, fundamentally, what sort of kinkster they identify as.
However, I know that it can be very confusing at the beginning, you have fantasies and desires, but you are not sure what role you want to participate in or how to narrow it down. You start searching online, and you get more confused by what is published online.
It can be overwhelming and uninformative if you start looking in the wrong places, which all of us do. BDSM is not like they portray it on porn sites or movies; forget that assumption immediately as it will only create the wrong impression. There is so much more involved than just sex.
The first thing you need to do is take a BDSM test. Yes, I know that tests are a pain in the arse, but I have not met one person involved in BDSM that has not taken this test. It is intricate to determining where your kinks lie and what you should spend your time on.
You can take the test here, register, and create a profile. You will need to keep taking the test as you develop in BDSM; your tastes and desires will change with time, and at least this way, you have reference points if you have a profile. You will start to figure out what is your BDSM kink.
After you have taken the test are narrowed down what kind of kinks you are into, you can start learning about your fetish or kink. I know it seems better to jump into a BDSM dynamic, but I personally think this would be the wrong choice. You need to understand your kink, and you need to learn how this new kink will affect you as an individual.
I recommend reading these books first, The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book, to help you further discover what is your BDSM kink. I would also suggest you download the BDSM checklist, and this usually is something you would do with a Dominant or Submissive when you enter a dynamic. However, I like to know what will be asked of me beforehand, and it gives you enough time to research and read about everything.
Do not rush into something new; understand the BDSM world, know what you want and what kind of dynamic you want. Once you have found a suitable partner, you will learn more about yourself and your kink. However, if you don’t know what you want, you can get hurt, and this will change your view on BDSM and possibly scar you emotionally or physically if you push your boundaries too soon.
Take your time, learn about yourself, learn about what is your BDSM kink. You have a lifetime ahead of you to explore your dynamic and find your partner or playmate. It will pay off in the long run if you know who you are and what you want or need.
Originally published at https://www.wiseharsh.com.
