Think Kink, Don’t Believe The Lies Or Misconceptions | WiseHarsh
Think kink is very catchy; LOL should be my new catchphrase. We all think about kink at some point, and just about everyone has a kink, even if they claim to be the most vanilla person in the world. If I look at my parent’s relationship, there is an element of Dominance and submission. How far they take, I don’t know, but it is there regardless.
Many people have kinks and are either trying to suppress them out of shame or fear. Fear plays a big part in people discussing their kinks; many people won’t discuss their kinks because they know they will be kink-shamed. This happens often, but people kink shame because they don’t understand kink. We, unfortunately, don’t have great kink references in the mainstream world of media.
You either have shitty movies like 50 Shades that show a guy coercing a woman into kink, or you have nasty BDSM porn that doesn’t tie up to the foundation of BDSM. It’s either a woman being “beaten” or a guy’s treated like dogs by women dressed as a Dominatrix. No one seems the negotiations or the aftercare involved between both partners. BDSM has always been a shock factor in mainstream media, and that they always link killers and serial killers to BDSM which doesn’t help either. So what is BDSM?
Kinky people aren’t mentally ill or deranged; we know what we like, and we understand SSC and RACK. Some predators and abusive people use BDSM as a guise to lure victims in, but this tactic is used in all groups and communities by predators worldwide, whether it be Facebook groups or local community programs.
Trauma has very little to do with BDSM; many BDSM practitioners haven’t experienced trauma or abuse, and the few people who have experienced trauma and abuse use BDSM to overcome and deal with it. There is also a misunderstanding that if you are into BDSM, you enjoy or want to be hurt; this is furthest from the truth. Not all kink involves pain; when people discuss punishment, it seldom involves pain being inflicted. Sadomasochism is often a sexual experience involving two partners, a partner who gets aroused from inflicting pain and a partner that gets aroused from receiving pain. Not everyone is a sadist or masochist, and people who are will openly discuss their wants and needs.
People will always assume BDSM is just about sex, and this is far from true; many people that are part of a BDSM dynamic only see it like that, non-sexual BDSM. So let us think kink, kink in BDSM for some is just about being restrained and being left tied up for a few hours, unable to escape. It could be about the feel of the latex mask or the smell of leather restraints; many asexual people really enjoy BDSM because the activities don’t have to be sexual; it is about exploring yourself and receiving the release you crave.
Kink is about self-growth and scratching that itch; kink is only what you want it to be as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual. So think kink and live life the way you want to, don’t let fear or being kink shamed stop you.
Originally published at https://www.wiseharsh.com.
