Subspace is something that many submissives compare to an out-of-body experience or being lost in a world of bliss inside your head.
I have never personally experienced subspace and have often wondered if it’s because I am a switch. I have been called a fence sitter before by BDSM community members as some believe you can only be dominant or submissive, not both. I find this to be complete bullshit; however, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
I have had amazingly intense sex that leaves me feeling fulfilled and complete, I’m just lying there enjoying the feeling, but I still didn’t experience subspace. I have been so focused on achieving subspace that sometimes I forget to enjoy the scene. Not being able to achieve subspace has also made me question myself at times.
How am I able to experience the downside of submission and not the upside? I have experienced sub drop many times but haven’t experienced subspace once? Talk about the stick end of a stick.
I have even wondered, am I somehow faking my submission on a subconscious level that I haven’t been able to experience subspace. I believe it has a lot to do with mindset and just letting go, something I am working on at the moment, just being in the moment and letting go of all the what if’s.
I have come across maybe submissives and several posts about subspace and submissives that have just not experienced it, and it has made me feel better and realized it is not just me that hasn’t experienced it. Possibly like everything in life, the more pressure you put on yourself to achieve something, the less likely you will be at attaining it.
I will stop trying to achieve subspace, and I am now just determined to enjoy my scenes with my dominant. It doesn’t make me less of a person or submissive if I haven’t achieved subspace yet; it is something to look forward to when it eventually happens one day.
As they say, all good things come to those who wait.
Have you experienced subspace of are you to hunting the elusive unicorn?
Originally published at https://www.wiseharsh.com.
