A BDSM Contract Is Not Binding, And It’s Not A Legal Contract. | WiseHarsh

A BDSM contract is not binding, and it’s not a legal contract regardless of what you have seen or been told. Fifty Shades of Grey got a lot wrong regarding BDSM, and I tend to think the contract was one of those things.

Yes, I recommend you have a checklist of things you are willing to do, along with hard limits, soft limits. It is essential to discuss what you have done and whether or not you enjoyed it and if you are willing to push your boundaries with certain activities.

These are all helpful in determining, first of all, if you and your BDSM partner are compatible, which is crucial, as kinks need to align to enjoy BDSM. It will also create a fantasy plan, so to say, of future scenes and activities. This checklist also needs to be reassessed often to include or exclude certain activities.

You can negotiate power exchange and even a total power exchange dynamic, but this only works during a scene. Nobody has the right to control you completely. You are your own person, with a personality, feelings, and responsibilities. The fantasy of not having to make any decisions and having some do it all for you is unfortunately just a fantasy; it is not practical in the real world and will never work.

I have seen several slaves and submissives who believe wholeheartedly that their BDSM contract is a binding contract. A BDSM contract is not binding, and it’s not a legal contract. Slavery is illegal globally; a BDSM contract is basically a safety net in a BDSM relationship or dynamic; it creates a sense of belonging and gives the relationship structure, along with guidelines and rules, that is it.

If you are unhappy in your dynamic or relationship, you can end it and leave whenever you want. No one can force you to stay there no matter what they claim about the contract. BDSM can, unfortunately, be used as a smokescreen for abusers.

Remember, the foundation of BDSM is built on trust, and everything is SSC (safe, sane, and consensual). You can withdraw your consent at any time. If you want to leave a dynamic or relationship and fear that your partner might become abusive, call the police beforehand and request assistance.

A BDSM contract is not binding; you can be your own person and leave anytime you want to.

Originally published at https://www.wiseharsh.com on February 19, 2021.